A Small Part of Motherhood

Pearl is nearing her 2^nd birthday and it’s got her mama feeling sad and...not sad at the same time.  Since she was an infant, I’ve received comments from more experienced mothers about how I should cherish them being so small because it doesn’t last forever.  I can attest to the fact they grow up fast, but I don’t find myself wishing she was still a baby-baby.  The baby stage was rough.  A baby is not easier than a toddler, in my opinion.  Each new thing she learns and each time she gains even the smallest shred of independence, my life gets just a bit easier.  I feel selfish for saying that, but it’s true.  She was an easy baby on almost all accounts, but they’re so…helpless the first year.  For instance, it was so hard dropping her off at daycare as an infant.  I wholeheartedly trust her caregivers, but an infant cannot tell you when something is wrong.  She cannot communicate her needs to her caregivers.  It is hard to know for sure she is happy and getting what she needs, whether it be food, milk, a diaper change, or even just a hug.  Daycare wasn’t a choice for me so I simply had to rely on my gut feeling and the fact she seemed happy and well taken care of.  It’s gotten so.much.easier now that she can talk and show emotions.  She can’t speak in full sentences, but when she says her babysitter’s name and claps her hands with a huge smile on her face, I feel reassured.  

A less significant example of life getting easier includes her eating habits.  Making baby food is time consuming; especially to a working mom.  Oh, please believe the kid ate food from a jar – it is cheap and it’s easy. (I fully understand it might actually be cheaper to make your own and it’s perfectly easy once it’s made…) But, based on everything you read online and advice new mothers are often given, I was doing my child a disservice by feeding her food loaded with chemicals…so off to be Martha (f-ing) Stewart I went.  As a side note, if I am blessed with a second child she will probably not get as much overachieving homemade food as Pearl did.  (Yes, I said she).  Aside from food, Pearl is so much easier to entertain than when she was as an infant.  Instead of having to be held all the time, she takes joy in playing with her dogs, being outside, and simply throwing a ball around.  If I need to clean the house, I can turn on some Sofia the First and she’s occupied for at least 30 minutes.  You can’t do that with babies. 

In no way am I saying life is easy –- just easi(er).  I can feel the eye-rolls coming from veteran mothers who want to say “Honey, your kid isn’t even 2 yet…you have no idea what is coming to you!”  True story.  The so-called “terrible twos” have made an appearance on more than one occasion, and are progressively becoming more frequent.  I’m not sure how effective I will be at handling her meltdowns, but one of the perks of being a working mom is the amount of patience I have.  I don’t spend all day with her.  I don’t hear her whining or crying.  She isn’t constantly begging for attention.  When I do get home in the evenings, I am thoroughly happy to be around her regardless of her emotional state.  Part of me feels I haven’t seen anything yet –- ask me about this again in a few months and I could be singing a different tune. 

If you’re a one-child family and your child is about 3+ months, everyone you know (and strangers too) will ask when you are having another.  I still can’t believe it when it’s the first question out of someone’s mouth.  At first, it was just ridiculous.  Let me heal first, k?  But…don’t you want your children to be close in age?  No, I would actually not like to make my life any harder than it has to be.  Having two kids under ____ age will not work in my favor.  But…don’t you want them to be close growing up?  I have my own siblings, all somewhat evenly spaced and we are all friends in our adulthood.  I do want more, but I will wait until Pearl is a little older.  It’s a personal preference. 

Anyway, back to Pearl’s birthday – I’m not quite sure how I feel about her turning 2.  She’s going to do it regardless of how I feel, but still.  I’m sure I am not the only mother out there who is a bit apprehensive about this birthday business.  In any case, the husband and I will be taking her actual birthday-day off from work and will take her shopping and out to a fancy lunch.  The following day will be her daycare birthday party and Saturday will be her party at home with framily (friends who are like family).  Let the festivities begin!  Here is a picture of Pearl from last year’s birthday party. 

As cute as she is here, she is even more beautiful now.